My apologies for not posting once in the last nine days. I’ve written two posts in that time but did not get around to publishing it. I’m actually a little stressed about posting because I have so much to say that I don’t have anything to say. Put differently, so much has happened that I don’t know where to start.
But, I will start here. We had a long weekend. Tomorrow I will go back to work to finish a mountain of work before my contract expires on 30 April. I have to cut the audios of four programmes and apply some EQ (equalisation) to all seven tracks. Once that is done, I will add the jingle we use, send the podcasts to our consultant to hear what he says. I’m a little stressed but I’m glad that my sister will join me at work. I don’t want to be alone at work late at night. It’s creepy.
The youth group camped this weekend in a very remote place. We had a jam-packed programme planned but in the end we just chilled. My friend and I conducted a study on Jesus and the Law of Moses in the context of the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:17-48). It was pretty awesome. God really led the discussion. It was vibrant and almost everyone commented. My favourite part of the discussion–the one on which I was the most knowledgeable–was oath taking. Let our ‘yes’ mean ‘yes’ and ‘no’ mean ‘no’.
On the camp I came face to face with a weakness of mine: my need for approval. I spoke about this flaw on a previous occassion [which I will link to later]. The aim of the camp was to encourage revival among the youth. We thought that everyone on the youth executive committee (excom) was on board with this. Everyone was except the person in charge of music. We had awesome worship services the Friday night, Saturday morning and afternoon. But Saturday she insisted on playing jazz. The excom member who organised the camp asked her many times to change the music but she refused. She saw no wrong in it. When I saw the change in the atmosphere I became upset. I keenly felt the pressure to do something as youth leader.
So, I took myself out of the situation. I walked outside into the cold night. Out in the darkness, I looked up at the star-filled night sky and begged God to help me make the right choice. I did not want to cause a scene. I did not want to upset people or be seen as a spoil sport. Yet I could not let them break with the theme. Secular music had no place at the camp.
I then asked the team mate to change the music back to what it was. She was upset and challenged me to change it. Her tone was sharp and her voice was raised. I backed off. I hung around the organiser of the camp looking for help. The organiser finally took charge and told the girl to change the music back. She did so under much protest saying that she didn’t understand what the big deal was.
What upset me the most about the situation was that she, the worship leader, started the whole secular music thing and then she went outside where some of the youth were singing some gospel songs.
After this incident, I was disappointed in myself. I compared the situation to king Saul who on account of pleasing the people sacrificed a calf when it wasn’t his duty or his place to do it. The prophet Samuel had told him to wait for him because Samuel would sacrifice the calf. But to appease the people who had grown restless, king Saul disobeyed a direct command from God in the Mosaic Law (only priests and prophets were allowed to sacrifice animals) and a direct command from God through Samuel the prophet.
I was like Saul. I broke. I did not sob because I was still in hearing from the house. But in my soul I sobbed and begged God to change me. I hate being a people pleaser. Yes, it makes me sensitive to others, but it also stops me from doing the right thing and from being myself.
Despite all of this, the youth really enjoyed the camp. We didn’t get much sleep the Friday night. The guys kept each other awake while the ladies spoke till 3am Saturday morning. The Saturday night all of us slept like logs. Early Sunday morning, another guy and I hiked down to the river. The place had some beautiful waterfalls which I photographed. The others hiked up the mountain.
The youth were really amazed at how much I spoke. A friend and I spoke the whole way to the place. We have a lot in common. Saturday night I found out that he also sleeps nude like me. I thought it was cool because he is a deeply spiritual person. There was a twin on the camp. They are his bosom buddies actually. We joked that we were as similiar as what the twins looked.
All in all the camp was good. The youth really enjoyed it. The vibe was great even though it rained on Saturday. We all accepted the rain as part of nature. It was part of the experience. We praised God for every aspect of nature we beheld and experienced.
To be continued . . .