Winds of Change: Days 157-158

Wow! These two days were hectic!

Some work

First I got to work and discovered that my boss is on leave till Wednesday, when I will take leave to go to campus. There I will sort out stuff related to my registration.

I had a poster to finish by Thursday–or at least the text of the poster because on I will present it on 28 Feb at a conference. I also learned that I would have to write two articles for our publication. The articles are due next week Friday. The month is almost done and I still haven’t written anything in the literature review for my thesis.

That was yesterday. Today I learned that I don’t have to do the poster anymore. My boss responded to an e-mail I sent to update her on my work. She said that I started too late on writing the text for the poster and would not finish on time. She told me to drop it. She also said that I could get off tomorrow.

At first I felt bad because I disappointed her but then, after talking to my dad, I felt good. Now I can focus all my attention on getting topics for the two articles I must write.

Coping with stress

All this stress made me restless. My body is getting rid of the stress through white heads. (Not what you wanted to know.) And I’ve also been looking forward to next year’s solo retreat where I will just “get away from it all”.

A carrot on a stick

Yesterday visions of the retreat made me think of getting a male sarong to act as a cover after skinny dipping. So I looked for different styles and patterns of male sarongs which led me to sheer sarongs. (Don’t worry they didn’t reveal anything.) The sheer sarongs made me wonder why anyone would want to wear one. I mean, it would be better to be naked because there’s just something “off” about sheer sarongs. They seem to promote exhibitionism.

So last night, after my nightly devotions, I entered “opinion: going commando vs sheer underwear” in Google because I wanted to know what people thought about the two. I’m of the opinion that going commando is better because (1) sheer underwear is off-putting, (2) they seem creepy, and (3) they sexualise situations that either shouldn’t be or needn’t be sexual.

I browsed through the search results and clicked on a link to an underwear site that had the terms “nude sheer underwear” in it’s title–not knowing what I would find. What I found was shocking which such underwear aim to be: a model in skin coloured sheer underwear! I went back as quickly as I could.

I was like: WTH!? (What the heck!?) It simply doesn’t make any sense. Why would you want to spend money on nude see-through underwear when not wearing any saves you money and laundry? You can argue for the support that nude see-through briefs lend giving you the best of both worlds.

That said, not everyone thinks like me and men who wear such underwear have a right to do so. Whether they do it for a neurochemical hit or not, is not for me to determine. I just found it illogical.

So after clicking away from the webpage, I shut down the browser and asked God for forgiveness and slept.

Resolution

I only realised this evening why I was so restless yesterday and today. The breyani I ate on Saturday and Sunday, and curries I ate last night most probably added to the restlessness. How do I know? The longing to retreat to some lake in the mountains far away from civilisation was really strong. And the pressure to find topics for the two articles today was immense. Then I was told that I might have to write a third article because the guest author might not have the manuscript ready on time, stressed me out further.

My constant prayer was that God would calm me down and help me find suitable topics. So tonight a short while after I got home, I suddenly sang “How great Thou art” in my heart. This calmed me to the point where I could work on my thesis with ease. I thank God!

So, that’s my day.

No Fap Anniversary

From this moment on there are 119 days to my second “no-fap” (no masturbation) anniversary! I’m already thinking about how I will celebrate it.

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