Winds of Change: Day 156

Please note that I discuss a wet dream I had towards the end of this post. So, NPU 18.

This afternoon before I napped I read what Ben Carson wrote about talents in Think Big. He gave some good examples and a short list of things you can do to determine your talents. It was clear that I consider writing a talent. (A no-brainer.)

Anyway, I napped because I couldn’t seem to focus and was looking for sugary, stimulating food to give me that edge. After the nap my energies were renewed and I tackled the task of preparing my part of a programme the youth of my church (denomination) will give on Friday night. I also finished a chapter of a dissertation I am reading.

This morning I attended a church board meeting which saw the youth executive committee voted in. This means that we are legal now. Our plans for the year were also accepted. What worried me was that no one asked questions about our programme. They did that with all the other departmental leaders, but not with me. My cousin said that it was most probably because I covered everything. Or can it be that I just bombarded them with information? Who knows?

On the porn front

This morning I had a wet dream. In actuality I don’t know if the ejaculation was the result of a wet dream or of sleep masturbation (or as I like to call it: sleep-jerking). Without wanting to be too graphic, my hand held my penis up.

In the past I would’ve been extremely worried about whether I broke my abstinence, i.e. sleep-jerked. But now I’m of the opinion that since I didn’t wake up and had the choice of stopping myself, I had absolutely no control over it and no way of knowing what the cause of the ejaculation is. Furthermore, my penis was not sore which would be a sure indication that I masturbated in my sleep. Therefore, I ascribe the ejaculation to a wet dream.
I feel bad for not writing much on the porn front. But besides the occasional wet dream, impure thought and temptation to look for pornographic images, there’s nothing much to say really. My prayer right now is that the Lord will fill me with the Holy Spirit and renew my mind that I may love and live His will.

That’s where I am right now.


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