Winds of Change: Days 127-128

Worry Wort

So, I stepped up to the plate and accepted the role of youth leader in my church. I’m a youth leader without an official team which has me stressed. My team from last will support me, I know, but we have not met yet. We were supposed to meet today but for some reason we could not commit.

Until the team is sorted out, I will be the youth leader in the true sense of the word. I’m nervous because the position makes me vulnerable. I will have to go out of my way to talk to the youth and although they like me, and vice versa, I’m shy and timid by nature.

When the team is sorted and accepted by the church board, I will be the youth society’s representative on the church board and my portfolio will be internal communication. In the leadership model we employed these passed two years, there was no youth leader. The youth society’s executive committee was the youth leader. We acted together as a unit. And the one chosen by my church’s election committee to be the youth leader was only the church board representative.

I realise that what I just wrote might be confusing so let me clarify it.

  1. Officially, I am the only one in my church’s youth department apart from the elder who supervises it.
  2. Unofficially, my team from last year forms the youth department’s executive committee. Although allowed by the church manual, it is not assuring to me because officially I’m the only one and they can withdraw their support at any time.
  3. The youth elder has not contacted me yet so I don’t know where we stand in terms of other decisions the church board took on Saturday.
  4. I’m timid by nature so not having an official youth leadership team makes me feel vulnerable as I have to reach out to our ailing youth alone.

That said, I know that God will see me through and that I will get the information and decisions I need in due time. I just have to be patient.

One thing stood out for me today in Who do you think you are? On page 53, Doug Batchelor writes “I know of a pastor who would address backslidden members as though they were already becoming active Christians again.” This struck because that’s how God treats us and that’s how we must treat each other. Says St. Paul in Romans 4:17 KJV, “God . . . calls those things which be not as though they were”. That’s how I will treat the youth in my church.

I worried about the two articles that are due Friday afternoon, the report I have to write for my professor, the fact that I have to go in and see him, my finances, my sculpting dream and goals, and the fact that I procrastinated so much today. After a long conversation with God, I know that things will work out fine. My boss will be back at the office tomorrow which has me slightly worried. But, you know me, I will tackle the bull by its horns; I will face my fear(s).

On the porn front

All this worrying saw me battle quite a lot of sexual fantasies and thoughts of looking for sexual material on the Net. But, I did not succumb to any of them. Praise God!

As of tonight, there are 149 days to go for my second no-fap (no masturbation) anniversary!


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