Winds of Change: Day 73

Work Birthday Lunch

Yesterday I celebrated my birthday with my colleagues at work. My boss gave me leave to go to a nearby mall where I bought KFC and fridge tarts (a strawberry cheesecake and a lemon meringue). I also bought some extra rolls and soft drinks (Stoney Ginger Beer and Fanta Orange). They were so full from the KFC that they barely ate the cake. But, they really enjoyed the lunch.

They reminisced and talked about all the people who worked in our unit and the stuff they did. I heard about how my one colleague liked sparking arguments between two former colleagues and what our senior colleagues thought about her on her first day of work.

On my way to work yesterday I thought about two things I’d like to write about, but I forgot what they were.

Yesterday I attended my church’s weekly Bible study group where we study the life of Christ. We study the Bible and a commentary on the life of Christ and discuss the subjects in the light of Christian living,  prophecy, eschatology and the sanctuary. We studied the trial of Jesus by Annas and Caiaphas, the high priest,  and the character of Judas Iscariot.

Inner turmoil

Porn Addiction Workbook

I’ve been postponing working through Restoring Your Sexuality Back To Biblical Foundations, coming up with lame excuses. The two excuses I use most often are: I forget what I must do or read before I fall asleep and I don’t have time to do the exercises I’m required to do. It sucks, I know.

Poetry

At the same time, I feel pressured to write poems, but what I do manage to write I deem to be no good. I even thought of publishing these incomplete or mediocre poems, just to get feed back from you. But, then again, I don’t want to publish bad pieces. So, I don’t know what to do. Furthermore, I would like to publish the poem that I entered into the wePoetsshowit Poetry Contest but I hesitate because I wrote entered it under another name and I don’t want you to know that name for personal reasons. I think that is one of the major blocks, I have at this moment.

Church Politics

There is also problems at church. I’m the only person in the Youth Department. I don’t really want to be the youth leader because of my porn addiction. It won’t be right. It will be hypocritical of me. But, if no one steps up to the plate I will have to.

People are questioning the report of Officer Selection Committee. Some say that it’s not inspired by God, while others say that it has been. Personally, I don’t know what to believe because I’ve always maintained that whatever the Committee comes up with is the will of God. This is mainly because they pray and ask the Lord to guide them in the selection church officers for the next year or two. Now, I don’t know. God’s church certainly isn’t perfect, but it’s all part of the winnowing process. So the Officer Selection Committee Report also weighs down my heart.

O The Joy

I’m enjoying Born to Blog. It’s teaching me a lot. Those lessons I aim to implement here on Eleazar’s Writing Space. I’m also learning about audio engineering as I edit the audios of the health talk shows we’re recording. I love learning.

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