Winds of Change: Day 53

Please note that the content becomes mature towards the end of this post under the heading Withdrawal Symptoms.

The changes I had to make to my article are done. I will just read through it one last time before I send it to the editor.

I found two men only spas in my city that are above board. Most of the men-only accommodation and saunas in the West are dubious in nature encouraging activities I would rather not be a part of. So, I’m pretty at finding these two men-only spas. One spa has a website on which they clearly state that their massages and wax jobs are professional not sexual. The other is listed on a spa directory website which I trust. I will be checking them out in the near future.

I don’t smoke, drink or go to parties where people do, but I do “party” with poetry. It distracts me from the reading I have to do for my thesis. My heart isn’t really in my thesis. I mean, if my heart was in it, I would’ve moved heaven and earth just to finish reading for the literature review and discussion. I need to change my attitude.

Withdrawal Symptoms

My libido seems to have shot through the roof. It’s like I’m in tune with the seasons. It’s spring here which means that it’s rutting season. The temptation to look at porn or visualise the filth has been growing like the contractions a woman in labour experiences. I’m just wondering at what point do I call Frank (my accountability partner)? It all seems manageable to me but I know that if I’m not cautious I will end up breaking my resolution.

TMI: Spontaneous Ejaculation

Something really strange happened tonight. I was in the bathroom reading odes while doing my business (sorry for the TMI–just sketching the scene). I read a couple of odes including Frederick Seidel’s Ode to Spring which I found to be very weird from the start. He speaks about buying lilies for the woman he loves in a very round about way. Then after buying the flowers he says he goes off and has sex with a woman, the woman he loves. I was like “What the heck!? Where did that come from!?” And I ejaculated. It was more like semen started oozing out slowly. It wasn’t a lot, maybe 10 drops? It looked more like pre-cum and wasn’t accompanied by the “wrinkly” sensation I described in yesterday’s entry.

I wanted to reread the poem to try and make sense of it, but then I decided that it wasn’t worth it. I’m still puzzled by this.


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