Winds of Change: Day 16

I wrote the following last night but chose to publish it today (WOC Day 17) after reviewing it and talking about some stuff with my accountability partner, Frank. (Obviously it’s not his real name.)

I planned on getting up at 2 this morning to continue doing background research for my article but I was too tired to get out of bed. I slept till 5.30am. I was also blessed with wet dream. The dream itself was weird but I won’t go into detail.

I basically read the whole day trying to make sense of the material and come up with a message for my audience.

My cravings for sweet stuff weren’t as pronounced today. I did have some sexual thoughts but didn’t dwell on them. The temptation to go on the Internet and look at stimulating images is growing. The temptation consists of “seeing” how I perform the Google searches or go to shopping websites to browse through their catalogues. Even though I pray and divert my thoughts, I’m a little apprehensive about it as I know that one misstep will derail all the progress I’ve made so far.

Another thing I was apprehensive about was the kind of woman I would marry. For the past week, ever since I spoke to Frank, I decided to let God choose my wife for me. He knows what kind of woman I need, and who needs me, and will only give me the best according to my need and His good pleasure as He promised. So, I threw away the list with all the criteria my future spouse (and girlfriend) would have had to meet. The matter is in His hands now. My prayer is “Father, please choose my wife.” And I trust that He will do so.

I don’t think Adam gave God a list saying, “Father, give me a wife who is kind, loving, beautiful, respectful, lovely, hard working, touchy feely, fashionable, etc. etc. etc.” All he said was, if he said anything at all, “Father, I see all these animals have a partner. But, I have no one. Will you please give me a wife?”

God heard his prayer and the institution of marriage was born. God supplied Adam’s need. And Adam appreciated the woman God gave him so much so that he would rather die with her, consciously sin with her, than see her die on her own. His love for her was a little warped but you get my point. God gave Adam who he needed and so God will give me (and you).

My dad scolded me this morning because I don’t prioritise well and that’s why I couldn’t spend the Sunday with my family. They went out to the mountains to see some snow and left me alone with my work. When they got back I gave him some background as to why I didn’t get up at 5.30am as planned and why I didn’t sleep as soon as I got home last night. I felt good after that. But, after he scolded me I was in a daze or a “wibe” as my aunt says. I’m off to bed now. Tomorrow morning I have to wake up at 2 am to continue reading the papers for my article.


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