Winds of Change: Day 05

Yesterday was somewhat stressful (again) because I had to finish an article on an interview I did but didn’t know where to begin nor what to write. But, I just decided to write and edit the document later. I’m somewhat of a perfectionist less so now than before. Back then writing was very hard because I wanted to write perfectly. But, as we all know writing is seldom easy nor is it always perfect.

So, last night I gave my accountability partner, whom I now consider a friend, an overview of my struggle with porn and masturbation. The e-mail is pretty long.

Withdrawal symptoms

As you know, I’ve been anxious a lot these passed couple of days which is to be expected. Last night I had a nightmare. The first one in a very long time I must add. I don’t get nightmares a lot. I dreamt about demons who were chasing me but just couldn’t get me. I also had night sweats and woke with a dry mouth a couple of times. This is most probably TMI so skip this sentence please: I was aware of my hand cupping my balls last night and the previous night as well. You can read now. As a result of the anxiety I’ve been finding it difficult to concentrate on my work. But, it will get better.

OCD

With regards to POCD, ever since reading up on it I’ve not been uncomfortable around the school children I pass every day on my way to work. I know that I won’t molest a child. For which I am grateful for.

So, yeah, that was my day yesterday.

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