Winds of Change: Day 01

Hey,

“Every Man’s Battle” and Liberty
Last year a friend of mine introduced me to the Every Man’s Battle (EMB) online community which I joined. I had read Every Young Man’s Battle in 2010-2011 and learned a great deal about God and myself. But, I was not successful in quitting masturbation (MB) and/or porn. I met this friend online last year on a forum that encourages men (and women) to stop masturbating.

Anyway, I joined the EMB community in the hopes of getting help. Now at the same time I was conceptually exploring nudism because being naked helped me a lot in combating the urge to MB. And because I didn’t want to let go of my new found freedom in nudism (conceptually, that is) I didn’t pursue the help that was offered to me on the EMB group I joined. (I will write about my nudist experiences and conceptualisations at a later date.)

After talking to another, more genuine online friend of mine, I decided to contact a guy who offered to help me with my porn addiction. That I did tonight.

Withdrawal symptoms
Lately and exacerbated by my 10 day media fast, I experienced some withdrawal symptoms which led me to fail my 10 day fast by searching for stuff on The Huffington Post. The withdrawal symptoms I experienced are:

  1. Anxiety. The anxiety is spread throughout my whole body which sometimes quivers with the tension and causes me to lose concentration and find ways to minimise the anxiety.
  2. Insatiable food cravings. It’s more of a craving for sugary treats and food and for spicy foods like curry.
  3. Lack of focus and concentration. For the life of me I can’t seem to focus on my work for more than 10 minutes at a time. Sometimes I can’t even focus on for 10 minutes.
  4. Negative thinking. I used to be a negative person when I was still deeply trapped porn and MB, but that changed in the middle of 2011. Now, I’ve been having doubts about my adequacy and competence as a career/professional writer (I’m a science writer, by the way). “Do I have what it takes to conduct interviews? Will I write excellent pieces of work? My work will have to hold up to scrutiny; will I/it make the cut?” are only some of the thoughts that have been plaguing me.
  5. Sexual fantasies. I get these a lot. Whenever I walk to or from the station I always seem to have a fantasy or two. I do my best to stop it from happening but before I know it I’m swept along. It has been easier since I stopped MB for a year now.
  6. Strange sensations in penis. This is different from the base chakra (or the chakra located in the perineum between one’s scrotum and anus) sensations which I felt at the beginning of my MB abstinence period. This is like a tightening of my penis itself. Graphic description My penis would engorge a bit but the 1.0-1.5cm section of the shaft just after the coronal sulcus stays contracted causing a pinching sensation. End of graphic description.
  7. Extremely horny. This is because of the anxiety. My mind sometimes translates anxiety into sexual desire which can be very confusing to say the least.
  8. Scatter-brained. My mind races into all directions at once as I try to run through all my work in my head. I am overwhelmed sometimes because I have such a lot of work and not enough time to do them all.
  9. Boredom. As a result I get bored easily and want to escape. I don’t want to do my work but I must. That’s the only I will get passed it.
  10. Sexual cravings in my genitals. I feel the need to ejaculate, not masturbate (MB)–mind you, in my genitals whether the ejaculation occurs via a wet dream or spontaneously because of fantasy, anxiety or none of the above.

The most predominant symptom is anxiety. I have to learn to seek the Lord during these moments because He promised He would help me in Philippians 4:6-7.

So, the winds are changing as is the tide. We’ll see how the Lord works things out.

Discussion Questions
For those of you that are abstaining from porn, masturbation and/or orgasm, what withdrawal symptoms did you experience?

What was the toughest day(s) for you?

Would you ever consider not masturbating AND/OR give up pornography for ever?

Advertisements

One thought on “Winds of Change: Day 01

  1. Pingback: Winds of Change: Days 188-192 part 1 | Eleazar's Writing Space

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s